Hello all,
Sable Angel checking in today. At our last angel meeting, we decided to give up a secret we're holding. Okay. But what do I tell? Do I share my deep, dark only-best-friend secret or do I tell a not-really-going-to-hurt-me secret? Where is the line drawn?
I've decided to walk the line and give up a personal, but not too, secret. I began this writing journey in earnest nearly 10 years ago. I was scared but a tad bit cocky feeling I could write as well as some of the authors whose books I'd seen, and read, on the book shelves. One decade later and I realize I know less now than I did at that time.
I've learned the more I write, the less I seem to know. Once I get one writing concept understood [I think I understand what my "voice" is], I realize I'm still struggling with the idea of another [point of view, whew...].
But that is not my secret. My secret is the overwhelming fear of failure. I find myself putting off writing a story I love because I'm afraid I will have worked my fingers and imagination to the bone and... no one will care.
My first attempt at writing was, well, tolerable. My second novel was easier to write and read better than the first. My third novel flowed from my fingertips, was the book my heart wanted to write and read quite well. And yet, my sales are dismal causing me to wonder if I really have what it takes to make it as a published author.
Would the world really miss my voice were it not out there?
This is my secret and I fight the urge to fall into the pit of "poor-pitiful-me" every single day. It is very simple, really. If I'm fearful enough I will stop writing all together. On those occasions when I think it is the best path to take, I find myself getting the shakes when I can't get to a keyboard to write. My characters wake me up in the middle of the night demanding to be heard and friends who've been kind enough to buy and read my work ask when my next book is being published.
I guess there are those whose kindness and faith won't let me fail. It is for them and my often distant dream I continue to put stories on paper.
There you have it--Sable Angel's fear, out in the open and exposed to the world.
Keep your feather dry and aim for the moon.
Sable Angel
I've always felt as if writing is a calling that cannot be denied. I love what you write and you have helped my stories. Your imagination is fantastic and you are great fun to work with. Keep on truckin' and don't get discouraged about sales.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think Christine is right. Writing is a calling, a gift. And I find if I'm not using my gift I'm not really happy or at peace with myself.
ReplyDeleteSable Angel asked, "Would the world really miss my voice were it not out there?"
ReplyDeleteIn a word: Yes.
In the same way some small action on our part can brighten a stranger's day. I recently received an e-mail from the person who won my December contest. When I mailed the box of goodies, I wasn't even sure it would arrive by Christmas. Well, it did and turns out the contest winner got snowed in and didn't get to go home for Christmas like she had planned. So my box of goodies was what she opened, and she said it "made her Christmas."
I'm thinking those angels I wrote about in my book, FEATHERS ON THE FLOOR, might have a hand or a wing in orchestrating that delivery.
I recently read something that said if we pursue our dreams and use our gifts to the best of our ability, the Universe will connect the results of those dreams and gifts with others who need to receive them. So use your wonderful gift of writing and trust that your stories will reach those who need to hear your voice.
(((HUGS))) to you, my fellow angel, and keep writing!
-Amber Angel