Rogue's Angels Present: Accidental Jesus Freak by Amber Lea Starfire

Please welcome  author of Accidental Jesus Freak

Amber Lea Starfire will be awarding a $50 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

Accidental Jesus Freak

by Amber Lea Starfire

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GENRE: Memoir

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INTERVIEW:

1.     What or who inspired you to start writing?

My mother was a teacher and writer, and some of my earliest memories are of her sitting at her typewriter, pounding out letters and articles for publication in magazines. Perhaps because of her example, I began keeping a diary (which over the years transformed into journal writing), and writing stories when I was about eight years old. I also taught myself to type at around that same age — probably my most-used skill in life .

2.     What elements are necessary components for this genre.

Memoir is an extremely intimate genre in which the writer must be willing to be brutally honest with herself and to make herself vulnerable. It takes a certain courage to open up your life and personal experiences to others in this way. So a memoir writer must feel that her story will resonate with and matter to others, and/or that it may help others in some way. Most memoirs are about overcoming some kind of challenge in life. They are about hope and personal growth and triumph. But in order to write honestly and with impact, you have to be willing to relive painful emotions and to reveal your own dark side. You also have to be as faithful to the facts as possible, while also telling your remembered truth. Memoir writing is hard work, and definitely not for the faint of heart.

3.     What expertise did you bring to your writing?

I have been a writer, in one way or another, throughout my life. Even though in much of my adult career I had written drier, more technical stuff — educational curriculum and procedures and technical manuals — that technical writing taught me how to tell a story and how to structure a logical progression of events.

I also spent seven years writing my first memoir, Not the Mother I Remember. During that time I went back to school to find out what I needed to become a better writer. In the process, I earned my MFA in Creative Nonfiction and learned how to write compelling scenes that draw readers in and keep them turning the pages.

When it came to writing Accidental Jesus Freak, I had been thinking about it for years — ever since I completed my first memoir, really. Though writing it still wasn’t by any means “easy,” I knew what I wanted to say and where I was going. So this memoir “only” took two and a half years to write instead of seven.

4.     What would you want your readers to know about you that might not be in your bio?

I’m passionate about learning. Just as when I taught myself to type when I was eight, I’m constantly engaged in self-directed education of some kind. I think that’s one of the reasons I also love to teach and have created an online school with classes in journaling and memoir writing. It’s all about empowering yourself for creative expression.

Another thing readers might be interested in is that I wrote Accidental Jesus Freak while working fulltime. Even though I have never been a true morning person, I get up extra early every morning in order to write. In this way, with a goal of at least 100 words per day (that’s 36,500 words per year), I completed my memoir. I continue to get up early each day to write, whether it be blog posts or responding to interviews, such as this. I believe if you want to write, you have to make it a priority and carve out the time to just sit down and do it.

5.     As far as your writing goes, what are your future plans?

I’m a bit between writing projects at the moment. I have ideas for a couple of novels that have been waiting patiently for my attention. Now that I’ve gotten my memoirs out of my system, I’m really looking forward to turning my writing focus to fiction. I’ve also been pulling poetry and personal essays out of my archives to see what is worthy of revision.

6.     Can you give us a sneak peak into this book?

Absolutely. I’ve included an excerpt from the first chapter below the interview questions.

7.     Do you belong to a critique group? If so how does this help or hinder your writing?

Yes, I have belonged to a critique group since midway through writing my first memoir. The group helps me in several ways: they point out holes or inconsistencies in my stories, ask questions that force me to bring more clarity to my writing, and through their responses help me to gauge the responses of my readers. If you write, I highly recommend becoming part of a constructive critique group.

8.     What is the best and worst advice you ever received? (regarding writing or publishing)

Best advice: Write from the physical senses, because that is where we experience life — in our bodies. And, write everything, every detail. As my MFA advisor says, “Write the f*#k out of it.” If you have written too much you can always cut later.

Worst advice: You have to know exactly who your audience is before you start and write for them. While it’s good to know who your audience is, you don’t need to know that to start writing — or even to be a successful writer. A well-written story with depth and meaning will find its audience. And if you’re focused on readers instead of the story, you’ll hamstring your writing with useless self-criticism, resulting in insecurity and possibly writer’s block.

9.     Do you outline your books or just start writing?

That depends. With my memoirs, I didn’t do a true outline, but I made a list of scenes or events and then began writing them. As I wrote, the story would take shape, and I was able to structure the order of scenes to best serve that story. With fiction, I find it beneficial to create an outline first. Even though that outline needs to be flexible to change, an outline helps to keep me on track and not get lost in the details of a narrative.

10.  How do you maintain your creativity?

By showing up every day with the intention of being creative. That may sound simplistic, but in a way it is simple — just not always easy. I believe that everyone is inherently creative and that we need to create space in our lives to allow that creativity room for expression. That said, it’s also important to be patient and kind to yourself, give yourself room for struggle and failure along with success, and to nurture authenticity in daily life. Creativity flourishes when we are true to ourselves.

11.  Anything else you might want to add?

No, just a big thank you for hosting me on your blog. And I’m always available via email and through the contact form on my website if anyone wants to ask questions or just chat about the writing process or my books.

● CHAPTER 1 ●

Leaving Amsterdam

May 1985

In two days, I would pack all the belongings I could carry and return to the United States with my husband and two children. Instead of the excitement and sense of adventure we brought to Amsterdam ten months before, we were carrying back the heavy weight of failure. We had sacrificed everything in order to make the move—our house, our belongings, most of our savings—and now we had nothing left. I was no longer sure who I was or where to call home.

I exited the doors of Youth With a Mission’s city headquarters for the last time and crossed the street to wait for the tram that would take me to Amsterdam’s Central Station. From there, I would catch the ferry to return to our apartment in North Amsterdam. As I waited, I gazed across the street at the mission and the row of tall brick buildings it sat next to. Cars and trucks and bicyclists jockeyed for space in a chaotic rush-hour dance accompanied by the beeping of horns, the dinging of bicycle bells, and friendly people shouting to one another. Women carried home bags stuffed with bread and bright bouquets of flowers for their dinner tables. I inhaled the smells of steel and diesel, familiar and comforting after nearly a year of living and working in the city. Whiffs of cigarette smoke from passersby mixed with the moist, slightly salty air of the nearby canal. I never thought I could love a city this much.

It was the last time I would hear the chaotic city sounds, the bicycle bells, the clanging of the trams. It was the last time I would see these people in this place on earth. The thought made my head swim.

I looked again at the buildings across the street. It was hard for me to comprehend how Youth With a Mission had been the center of my hopes and dreams less than a year ago. We had come in answer to an internal call to serve God with our music, but everything had fallen apart. Mixed emotions—anger, fear, confusion, and disappointment—roiled inside me like crabs thrown into boiling water. What had I done wrong that I should be punished like this? Why had God abandoned me?

That’s when I saw Floyd McClung, the charismatic leader of Amsterdam’s mission, on the opposite corner. When the light changed, he stepped confidently off the sidewalk and strode across the street. Tall and blond and well built, handsome in his suit and white shirt, he would have looked at home in any boardroom.

With a sick, empty longing, I watched him come toward me. For four of those ten months I had worked for this man in the name of God. I had answered phones and typed letters, organized transportation and hotel rooms for foreign religious dignitaries. I had learned to use the telex machine and communicated with mission offices all over the world. I had worked as one of his secretaries in a small, wood-paneled office, where he had walked past me and into his office each day as though I were invisible.

I watched as the man who had held complete power over my life and that of my husband and children for the last 312 days, who had barely spoken directly to me, advance. I expected him to pass by me, where I would remain unseen and invisible as I had always been. Instead, he stopped in front of me, a sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

“We will miss you,” he said, his voice warm and smooth. His expression had changed to one of concern and compassion, but his cool eyes looked past me, as if I were already gone and he was seeing my future. I looked up at him, willing his eyes to meet mine, willing him to see my brokenness, but his eyes remained distant. I wondered what was going through his mind. Did he feel ashamed or conflicted? Was that why he would not meet my eyes? Or was I simply not important enough to look at? Did he care at all about me or my family?

Without warning, he stooped and kissed me lightly, briefly brushing my cheek with his lips. Then he straightened and resumed walking like a man who knows his place in the world.

Stunned, I raised my hand to my cheek. His kiss burned as though he had placed a hot ember against my skin instead of his lips. It was, I thought, eerily like the kiss of Judas, a kiss from the man who had taken away my dreams and delivered me into the hands of pain and loss.

The ghost of his lips on my cheek opened a sudden abyss of grief, and I felt my knees give. The world swayed and dropped away, everything around me going soft and gray. The traffic noise receded into a fog as my vision telescoped into grainy static. I managed to remain standing by steadying myself against the pole of a street lamp and was surprised to realize, when I moved my hand away from my face, that it was wet with tears.

BLURB:

In 1973, Linda was a flute player and music major at a California community college, until she met and fell madly in love with a charismatic piano player, plunging into his world of music-making and drug-fueled parties. When, just three weeks after their wedding, he reveals that he's been "born again," Linda makes the spontaneous decision to follow him into his new religion and, unwittingly, into a life of communal living, male domination, and magical thinking.

With unflinching candor, Amber Starfire chronicles her journey as Linda Carr into the evangelical church culture, where she gives up everything for her husband and their music ministry. But in the process, she loses her most valuable assets: her identity and sense of self-worth. It is only when Linda returns to live with her birth family and faces her complicated relationship with her mother that she finds new purpose and the courage to begin to extricating herself from the limiting beliefs of her past.

Accidental Jesus Freak is the story of one woman, one marriage, and one kind of fundamentalism, but it is also the story of the healing that is possible when we are true to ourselves. Both a cautionary tale and celebration of personal empowerment, Accidental Jesus Freak is a powerful reminder for anyone who seeks to live a life authentic to who they truly are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXCERPT:

I exited the doors of Youth With a Mission’s city headquarters for the last time and crossed the street to wait for the tram that would take me to Amsterdam’s Central Station. From there, I would catch the ferry to return to our apartment in North Amsterdam. As I waited, I gazed across the street at the mission and the row of tall brick buildings it sat next to. Cars and trucks and bicyclists jockeyed for space in a chaotic rush-hour dance accompanied by the beeping of horns, the dinging of bicycle bells, and friendly people shouting to one another. Women carried home bags stuffed with bread and bright bouquets of flowers for their dinner tables. I inhaled the smells of steel and diesel, familiar and comforting after nearly a year of living and working in the city. Whiffs of cigarette smoke from passersby mixed with the moist, slightly salty air of the nearby canal. I never thought I could love a city this much.

It was the last time I would hear the chaotic city sounds, the bicycle bells, the clanging of the trams. It was the last time I would see these people in this place on earth. The thought made my head swim.

I looked again at the buildings across the street. It was hard for me to comprehend how Youth With a Mission had been the center of my hopes and dreams less than a year ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Amber Lea Starfire MA, MFA, is an author, editor, and creative writing coach whose passion is helping others tell their stories. She has published two memoirs: Accidental Jesus Freak: One Woman’s Journey from Fundamentalism to Freedom (2017) and Not the Mother I Remember: A Memoir — finalist for both the 2015 Next Generation Indie Book Awards and the 2013-2014 Sarton Women’s Literary Awards. She has also published several books of non-fiction, including Journaling the Chakras: Eight Weeks to Self-Discovery, and Week by Week: A Year’s Worth of Journaling Prompts & Meditations. Amber is co-editor of the award-winning anthology, Times They Were A-Changing: Women Remember the '60s & '70s. Her creative nonfiction and poetry have appeared in numerous anthologies and literary journals.

Website and Social Media Links:

http://www.writingthroughlife.com

https://writingthroughlife-onlineclasses.teachable.com/

https://www.facebook.com/writingthrulife/

Amazon Link for Accidental Jesus Freak: https://www.amazon.com/Accidental-Jesus-Freak-Journey-Fundamentalism/dp/0999444107/

Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/accidental-jesus-freak-amber-lea-starfire/1127757981

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GIVEAWAY INFORMATION and RAFFLECOPTER CODE

Amber Lea Starfire will be awarding a $50 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/28e4345f2602