Lady and the Tribe by Brenda Billings Ridgley

 Please welcome Brenda Billings Ridgley author of Lady and the Tribe

Brenda Billings Ridgley will be awarding a Cape Diablo wrap bracelet and a $25 Amazon Gift Card (US ONLY) to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

Lady and the Tribe

by Brenda Billings Ridgley

 

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GENRE: Non-fiction, Self-help

 

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INTERVIEW:

What or who inspired you to start writing?

 

I was invited to compete in the Mrs. Colorado America Pageant at the end of 2020.  At the time to me the thought of doing this was “crazy”.  I had never done anything remotely like this before. After my initial “Heck NO!” response, I settled on “Why Not?”  I knew I needed help so I hired a pageant coach who asked me what legacy I would want to leave if I was honored as the new titleholder.  The book came to me in an ah-ha flash of inspiration.  Over the previous 2 years I had been on a soul-searching journey that led me to strengthen relationships with my girlfriends. That one question asked by my pageant coach created a burning desire to document my journey back to wholeness in Lady and the Tribe, How to Create Empowering Friendship Circles.  

 

What elements are necessary components for this genre?

 

Self Help, Happiness and Relationships is the genre this work falls into.  I feel that books of this nature require not only information and instruction but also inspiration and storytelling.  The reader needs to feel something that inspires change if they want something out of a self-help book.  I don’t know a better way to learn about the “deep end” of friendship than to “dive in”, learning about real people and their friendship stories.

 

How did you come up with your idea for your novel?

Deep meaningful friendships became the solution to my “what’s it all about” phase after motherhood and various adulting roles. I had simply “let myself go” over a period of about 15 years.  I’m not talking about the typical weight gain and yoga pants seven days a week, although that happened too.  I found myself feeling surrounded by people and activity and responsibility, yet I felt isolated.  

 

I had let go of my own preferences, activities and friendships and found myself with a very busy life, yet something was missing. As my kids were about to launch into their adult lives, I no longer knew who I was outside of my role as MOM.  I discovered what was lost was deep, meaningful friendships.  

 

It was important for me to share my story because my story is not unique.  There is a silent epidemic happening across the globe that is loneliness.  We are not lonely because we lack friends, we are lonely because those friendships lack the intimacy and depth that we long for as human beings.  

 

 

What expertise did you bring to your writing?

 

Although for a time I allowed myself to become “disconnected”, I am an avid networker and connector.  My career has always been “people centered” with a decade in corporate America as a human resources manager and then decades more as a consultant and entrepreneur using my MA in organizational development.

 

What would you want your readers to know about you that might not be in your bio?  

 

I am on a mission to help create 1000 new Lady Tribes by the end of 2022!  Together we can help others become connection conscious.  I believe our true joy can only be found through relationships and friendship can be a significant source of belonging and reflect to us our purpose and how we fit in.  Everyone can join this effort by subscribingto Lady and the Tribe’s Inner Circle where I provide weekly friendship tips and other connections.

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As far as your writing goes, what are your future plans?

 

I am compelled to create a “Tribal Record” of sorts to accompany Lady and the Tribe.  It will be a scrapbook/journal/workbook of sorts with relationship building activities.  It will include retreat planning advice and checklists as well as other gathering ideas. 

 

I would also like to write a relationship book geared toward younger women who are just about to approach the real “adulting” years. I hope to help them say on course keeping their identity intact while also succeeding at the new roles they are about to embark on.

Can you give us a sneak peek into this book?

 

Great Expectations

Regardless of the condition of your current relationships, your friendships are an area of your life that could probably benefit from a little more attention. There has got to be at least one person in every Tribe who takes the lead to make things happen and stay connected. However, for a Tribe to be effective, the efforts must be reciprocal, and each individual must add value to the group. In the chapters ahead, we are going to take a deep dive into all things Tribe—the family you choose. This will include:

 

1.  The depth that many women are missing in their relationships

2.  How superficial friendships may be hurting us 

3.  How building trust and intimacy with a few girlfriends may improve your health, well-being, and longevity 

4.  How to be a good friend. 

5.  How to create depth in friendships. 

6.  How to be the leader of your Tribe

And much more.

 

With your participation in this movement, you can make a difference not only in your own life, but in the lives of those around you. Wherever you are right now, you can find a more rewarding and joyful life with your own Tribe.

What is the best and worst advice you ever received? (regarding writing or publishing)

 

The best advice I received was from my mother-in-law Roseanne.  I asked her to be one of my proofreaders because she was an English teacher by profession and had also written and published a book.  She strongly encouraged me to hire and work with trained professionals in the book publishing industry.  She connected me with a publishing consulting firm that was very helpful and made all the difference in my high-quality end-product.

Do you outline your books or just start writing?

 

My outline was more of a list of topics that I wanted to discuss.  Once I had about 15 topics I sat down in my parlor with the laptop and just started writing.  I was so passionate about the subject that the words just came to me with little effort. I felt I was gifted the message and I was only the storyteller.

Who is your favorite character in the book. Can you tell us why?

 

My favoritecharactersin the book are the self-titled “Amazing Women”.  I interviewed this group of five women for years have been planning and organizing 3-4 girls’ weekend trips per year.  They do this with one big “rule” and that is, the weekend can cost no more than $150 per person and this includes all transportation, food and lodging.  They have even managed to get on an airplane within budget more than once! The Amazing Women had some great stories and tips that we share in Lady and the Tribe.

Anything else you might want to add?

 

Thank you Rogues Angels for this great opportunity to share!

BLURB:

 

Wives, mothers, and career women—we have all fallen victim to the silent epidemic that is, literally . . . letting ourselves go. Not the makeup free, yoga pants, weight gain routine. Little by little, we have allowed our preferences, interests, and individuality to slip away until we no longer recognize ourselves outside of our role as wives, mothers, or professionals. Who we are has become what we do.

 

In the process, our friendships have become the casualty of a “busy life” and lack consistency and depth. We have a gaping hole inside us that longs to be filled. How do we reclaim who we really are and fill this empty space that seemed to appear from nowhere? The answer lies in our Tribe. Our best friends see us more clearly than we see ourselves and are representations and extensions of our individuality. They are our companions, cheerleaders, and counselors—always in our corner. They are the branches of our tree of life that lift and support us, so we can flourish. Our Tribe is the family with whom we choose to live our life . . . with no strings attached.

 

Lady and the Tribe is a blueprint for building deep connections. As you read, you’ll be swept away on a journey of friendship as the author shares her own personal stories and those of other women. In the process, you’ll discover how to find, nurture, and deepen friendships and create a Tribe culture that is unique to you.

 

We can become whole again through the power of connection.

 

When three or more gather, we are Tribe.

 

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EXCERPT:

 

Awakening

 

Today, a dichotomy exists between our concurrent hyper connectedness—the immediate and ongoing ability to check up on faraway friends via social media—and our elevated sense of emotional alienation. Add to that, we as a culture are so focused on career success, financial accomplishments, and family milestones that we often lack the time and energy to connect with others beyond those arenas. Despite being surrounded by people, places and things, somehow we are left feeling alone. We are not alone because we lack relationships. We are alone because these relationships lack depth, knowledge, and certainty. In his column, “Loneliness is Killing Us,” George Monbiot suggests that, much as we labeled the Stone Age, Iron Age, Space Age, and Information Age, this era will be called “The Age of Loneliness.”  

 

Almost without noticing, we have distanced ourselves from the people who choose to love us without obligation. These closest personal friendships are ever present—yet do not demand our time. They are an advocate in our corner, mirroring back to us who we really are. This neglect is not without a price. We must actively seek, grow, and maintain these relationships. If we fail, we won’t just lose a friend—we’ll lose a piece of ourselves. 

 

The wonderful thing is that no matter where you are right now with your relationships, you can exponentially improve your connections by deciding to give them a little more attention and intention.

 

 

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AUTHOR Bio and Links:

 

BRENDA RIDGLEY is an author, speaker, and girlfriend guru who loves helping women connect, find success, and discover joy through friendship.  Her mission is to start a movement: women coming together to build thousands of new Lady Tribes around the globe.  Through her workshops, vlogs, blogs, and book clubs, Brenda helps women connect and communicate with respect, love, and trust. She holds an MA in human resources and has spent decades cultivating her own Tribe.  A Colorado girl at heart, Brenda lives in the Carbon Valley area with her husband, Parker, two kids, Parker Jr. and Gillian, and pooch, Perry.  She enjoys hiking and has conquered Longs Peak and several other 14’ers.  

 

To connect with Brenda, visit her website at www.BrendaRidgley.com.

 

Invite Brenda to speak at your next event: mailto:brenda@brendaridgley.com.

 

Order:  Lady and the Tribe  - https://www.amazon.com/Lady-Tribe-Empowering-Friendship-Circles/dp/1737289709

 

Subscribe:

 

YouTube: @BrendaRidgley

 

Podcast: @TheConnectionConnoisseur   - https://www.podserve.fm/series/website/the-connection-connoisseur,3341/

 

Blog:  https://www.brendaridgley.com/blog

 

Follow:

 

Instagram: @BrendaRidgley --  https://www.instagram.com/brendaridgley/

Facebook: @BrendaRidgleyConnections - https://www.facebook.com/brendaridgleyconnections

Twitter: @BrendaRidgley

 

 

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GIVEAWAY INFORMATION and RAFFLECOPTER CODE

 

Brenda Billings Ridgley will be awarding a Cape Diablo wrap bracelet and a $25 Amazon Gift Card (US ONLY) to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

 

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/28e4345f3929